Thanks for hanging with me

I wanted to tell you all that I am sorry for being negative in my blog posts lately. I have been VERY frustrated with... well, people, their actions, along with the stress of having two very ill sisters and other things going on in my life that are very trying and difficult.

I want to tell you that my blog is TOTALLY honest and probably a bit harsh. If I think something, I type it. I don't put on a pretty face or my diplomatic personality here. I say it like it is. This is the ONLY place that I do that. I am open, honest, free. Political correctness goes out the window and all fear of judgment does as well. This is MY tiny corner of cyberspace... My chance to speak and, if you want to listen, then I will be heard. If you don't, then that is your choice completely.

I think that sometimes people read my blog and are a bit taken back by straight forward and sometimes perhaps crass thoughts. I say it. I say it all. I think I have finally come to the conclusion that either you like me or you don't, and, so be it. That's that. I would really love for people to like me for who I really am but if they don't, then my life is better off without them in it.

I am cleaning house. I am cleaning out my heart full of feelings. I am getting rid of the bad and making room for the good. Ya know, if you're someone who just listens and never causes any problems and never argues and never has any "issues" with people, the TRUE thoughts and feelings you have build up. I have always been a peace-keeper. I have always done whatever I can to avoid controversy and not get into arguments. What has happened as a result is there are MANY MANY people who do not know me for who I am.

I have passionate feelings about many things. And I am proud to be who I am and I am tired of not "causing any waves" for the sake of others who may not like me or like my thoughts or whatever. I am me and that is that. Take me or leave me.

Again, if you're shocked when you read my blog please know that you are free not to read it. If you want to know me and know my deepest thoughts then please read on. But, understand that this is my place where I will say whatever I want to say. This is probably the ONLY place that I say it all just like it is too. Thank God I have this place!

And, I have done a lot of crying in the last week. Sobbing. My life seems to have been turned upside down in a matter of days. I found out I was pg., I found out my nephew is going to Iraq with the military, I found out my sister has cancer, I started to have some issues with pregnancy and thought I had a miscarriage, my nephew left for Iraq, my sister is fighting cancer and my family seems to be falling apart over it... my other sister is very ill and in a wheelchair with MS.... Never before in my life have I had SO MUCH going on all at once. In the meantime I am trying to keep an organization that is VERY dear to my heart running which takes many many many hours (I do this for FREE by the way, and I always have), while trying to assist in a new "sister" website to provide a safe haven for support and information about chronic inflammation and being pretty much torn apart for it over the last few months......

And if you thought that was my biggest job in life - you're wrong. I am the mother of 5 children ages 8, 7, 5, 3, and 16 mos. and we are homeschoolers which means my children NEVER, ever are out of my care. It's not like I send them all off to school or daycare while I do my volunteer work. I work my butt off *everyday* and I endure a lot of stress. But, I choose to do this and I love to do it. It isn't all roses, but then, nothing in life worth having ever is. I love my children, I adore my husband, and I love helping others.

God bless you all for sticking with me, and I wish you the best of health.