The Good & The Bad
Well, the last few days have been a bit difficult. Full of reflection and... well, some bad news. I will save the bad news for last.
Reflection: I have been thinking a lot about what kind of wife, mother, and person I want to be. I hope to make a lot of changes in the new year. I want to be better at everything, and I want to be happier with myself. I look at my kids and see how precious they are and how much they deserve me to be PERFECT... well I know that is not possible but, I can try and they deserve nothing less. My husband - the same goes for him. He deserves more from me. He deserves more love and nurturing from me. It seems like he is always taking care of me. I need to take care of him. He is such a good man, a sweet, loving, kind man. I am so lucky to have him. We have been doing lots of talking and just spending time together the last few days. We used to talk all the time but with 5 kids it gets hard. So, we are making a vow to talk more and make more time for each other in the next year.
My own health must be taken care of... I have slipped away from some of the great habits I had going with my EPC plan, and it is really showing. I have become more moody, tired, weepy. I thought perhaps it was some of the season with stress and blues, but Matt says that it's like night and day - me being faithful to the EPC plan or not. He says he can see it clear as a bell. I need to be on it. I need to follow it and take care of myself. I learned my lesson! No such thing as a little bite of this and drink of that doing no harm!!!!
News: My mom starts chemo on the 3rd. I hope and pray it goes well for her.
The bad thing is my sister got some more test results. I am not sure how it all worked out but, she spent Christmas believing she was in remission and on her way to a full recovery. A couple days ago her doctor called and said that the CT Scan showed that there is still cancer in her lungs. She is not in remission. However it was overlooked, her doctor apologized profusely for the error. Part of me thinks that it was a blessing, so that she could really enjoy Christmas and not have that weight on her shoulders. She really did enjoy Christmas. She was SO happy, upbeat, and bubbly the whole time. Now she is sad, let down, I suppose a lot like a nasty kick in the gut. She isn't talking to any of us because she doesn't want to discuss it or cry about it. She just needs her time I know.
SO... that was hard to hear after we all felt so good about the cancer being gone.
Happy New Year to you all!
Tarra
Reflection: I have been thinking a lot about what kind of wife, mother, and person I want to be. I hope to make a lot of changes in the new year. I want to be better at everything, and I want to be happier with myself. I look at my kids and see how precious they are and how much they deserve me to be PERFECT... well I know that is not possible but, I can try and they deserve nothing less. My husband - the same goes for him. He deserves more from me. He deserves more love and nurturing from me. It seems like he is always taking care of me. I need to take care of him. He is such a good man, a sweet, loving, kind man. I am so lucky to have him. We have been doing lots of talking and just spending time together the last few days. We used to talk all the time but with 5 kids it gets hard. So, we are making a vow to talk more and make more time for each other in the next year.
My own health must be taken care of... I have slipped away from some of the great habits I had going with my EPC plan, and it is really showing. I have become more moody, tired, weepy. I thought perhaps it was some of the season with stress and blues, but Matt says that it's like night and day - me being faithful to the EPC plan or not. He says he can see it clear as a bell. I need to be on it. I need to follow it and take care of myself. I learned my lesson! No such thing as a little bite of this and drink of that doing no harm!!!!
News: My mom starts chemo on the 3rd. I hope and pray it goes well for her.
The bad thing is my sister got some more test results. I am not sure how it all worked out but, she spent Christmas believing she was in remission and on her way to a full recovery. A couple days ago her doctor called and said that the CT Scan showed that there is still cancer in her lungs. She is not in remission. However it was overlooked, her doctor apologized profusely for the error. Part of me thinks that it was a blessing, so that she could really enjoy Christmas and not have that weight on her shoulders. She really did enjoy Christmas. She was SO happy, upbeat, and bubbly the whole time. Now she is sad, let down, I suppose a lot like a nasty kick in the gut. She isn't talking to any of us because she doesn't want to discuss it or cry about it. She just needs her time I know.
SO... that was hard to hear after we all felt so good about the cancer being gone.
Happy New Year to you all!
Tarra
posted by ~ Tarra ~ @ 1:10 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:37 AM,
Tara said…
Hi Tarra,
I will also be praying for your mom. You've had a tall order to fill this past year and it hasn't let up yet. You are truly an inspiration to the PCOS family and a great advocate for the EPC program. I know you'll jump back on the band wagon once you catch your breath. It's incredible that you're able to do so much and still take care of yourself and the baby.
Reflection is great - i've been reflecting since the New Year and i see some changes i need to make in my character and have decided to study all 52 women in the Bible starting with Eve of course. I hope to adopt their great qualities and shape any ugly character traits that might appear, but all in all, i want to be my best for God, my husband, and my family and friends. Hat's off to you and your journey to perfection (God's perfection - of course He already see you as perfect). Enjoy the ride because i know i will.
Talk to you soon.
Tara
At 10:34 PM,
~ Tarra ~ said…
Tara, Proverbs 31 woman... whoa... she is amazing (and didn't really exist, thank Goodness). She is who I strive to be like. I found a book about all the women in the Bible and it is amazing all the great, wonderful stories there are for us and many of us never even realized.
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